The Salem County Office for the Disabled is no longer a part of my life as a volunteer, but I wish them well in all of their endeavors. I still get their robocalls about events, but the events seem to be almost exclusively focused on a senior population. I get that because that is where they get their funding for staffing and programs.
I have kept up with a number of former volunteers and it seems as though many of us are now in volunteer retirement. I think that all of us miss the actual work of adding value to programs for the disabled community, and I know that there will be those out there that will take issue with the use of the word disabled, and I agree that I should keep up with the newest designations, but my message has always focused on not being disabled. A state of mind decision.
My friend Ray had a motorcycle accident when he was nineteen and my friend John was thrown out of the bed of a pickup truck when he was in high school. Ray and John do so much more than so many people that aren’t in a wheelchair. They focus on living their lives and enjoying their travels: Ray in his pickup truck and vintage cars and John on his Harley trike. Ray on his tuna trips in the ocean and John at the Eagles games and so much more. They have both decided to overcome the pain and barriers that confront them and find ways to live their lives.
Well, that brings me to next steps. I am not exactly sure where this goes, but I am now 75 and things that used to be easy and pain free are now a more painful part of my life. It is also a part of my wife’s life and the lives of our numerous friends that are also over 70. I guess it could be called adventures in aging and how to keep things positive.
Here is an example of what happened last week. I went bowling with two friends that attended the same elementary school and who graduated with me from high school in 1966. Years of cumulative trauma from heavy construction projects, years of coaching baseball and pitching batting practice and decades of playing in basketball and softball leagues has taken their toll on my right shoulder. After about 6 frames of bowling, I realized the pain of bowling was more than I could handle. As the ball went back, stopped on the back swing and started forward toward the bowling lane I couldn’t hold the weight of the ball and it dropped out of my hand.
My friends, Jim and Frank showed their concern and suggested that we just stop. I thought about Ray and John and knew that this would have not stopped them. When my turn came up again, I took the ball and put the fingers of my left hand into my bowling ball. I walked slowly toward the bowling lane and awkwardly released the ball toward the bowling pins. The ball ended up in the gutter. The second attempt was closer to the pins, but still in the gutter. I finished that game and the results were not very good, but I started to hit some pins. Jim and Frank were concerned that I was going to be very disappointed and suggested that we go and have some lunch.
I told them that I wasn’t experiencing any pain and wasn’t concerned about my score or the looks of other bowlers looking at this old guy having such a bad game. “Let’s play another game and then we can go to lunch, I said.” They agreed and started to give me some advice about what I was doing and made suggestions to improve my bowling. There was some improvement, but mostly there was good natured comments from three longtime friends.
We had lunch. Told stories that we all had told before. Added updates about things happening in our and our family’s lives and decided to go bowling again next week.
Abilities Not Disabilities 