I have had some time to reflect on my last post and realize that I can try and plan what Aaron should do and how he should do it, but he is an adult and he needs to learn to make his own decisions. He needs to get his temporary housing approved every two weeks and also work with Social Services to look for an apartment. I asked him to have the case worker call me so that I can assist in this search. It seems as though he forgets to do this and I am concerned that he will not be approved for his temporary housing at the hotel and become homeless again. I feel like I am more vested in this than he is.
I also think about how my mother and sister enabled him by fixing problems that he created and how he really never learned to make independent decisions. It was always my mother that was trying to fix the problem and bail him out financially or by not giving up as she called various offices, programs and individuals to try and fix the latest problem. My mother was a force to reckon with and would not take no as an answer. When she passed, this fell to my sister, Aaron’s mother. The problem was that my mother was doing the same thing for her daughter and Aaron’s mother wasn’t able to fix her own problems after my mother passed. My sister’s life started to fall apart after our mother passed.
Aaron was living on the streets of Camden on a regular basis after my mother passed and going back to his mother’s apartment to get food and money on an inconsistent time frame. He would show up, eat all of the food in the house, harass her for money and leave after she called the police. She often called me and asked me to make him leave, but I reminded her that this was an on-going routine and I couldn’t make it stop. She and my mother both called the police to get Aaron to leave and the police also told both of them that there wasn’t anything that they could do unless they pressed charges. Finally, the apartment complex got tired of this problem and started proceedings to prohibit Aaron from coming to the apartment. It ended with the apartment complex evicting Linda.
During this eviction process, Linda started using more drugs and her health deteriorated to the point that I found her on the floor of her apartment unresponsive and called 911. This was the beginning of the end for Linda who died less than two months later. It was the beginning of the end for Aaron as well because he had no where to go except the streets of Camden. For the next three years he lived on the streets of Camden and spend about 32 days in Cooper Hospital each of those three years and almost died. It was at this point that he made a connection with the various programs at Cooper and has reached this point where he is drug free and relatively healthy.
Hope? Yes, I believe he has hope for continued improvement and the possibility of a more normal life. However, there are still so many obstacles to overcome and he still hasn’t learned to manage the money that he now gets or how to persist in following through with tasks that will get him into his own apartment. I keep wondering if the next 14 days will be his last temporary housing at the motel. I keep wondering what can be done if he doesn’t have anywhere to go and how to get him to really make finding an apartment a real priority.
I haven’t written about my nephew Aaron in a while and I thought I would share a little more about his journey. The good news is that Cooper Hospital’s extended care program has been excellent in helping him extend his sobriety and in providing medical and psychological follow up care. I have seen first hand how positive they are toward him as well as how they also provide him with necessary guidance when he isn’t doing all that he should do.
He lost the cell phone that they provided to him and explained that he would have to replace the phone that he lost. I bought him another phone at Walmart (about $40.00) and we met with an LPN that assists him. She was caring and supportive, but also discussed how he missed the transportation set up to bring him into their office because the driver couldn’t reach him by phone to let him know he was at the motel. I explained that I wasn’t able to contact him to find out if he needed food or to give him his weekly money allowance because I couldn’t contact him. He shook his head in agreement and told us that he was upset with himself for losing the phone.
Less than three weeks later he lost another phone on the bus from Camden to his motel room. He was able to get someone to allow him to call me and tell me about this. He was desperate and told me he was out of food and money. It was snowing and he wanted me to come to Cherry Hill that evening. When he is desperate, his bipolar tendencies manifest themselves in pleading and negotiating with me. I calmly explained that I wasn’t going to drive in a snow storm and used the opportunity to discuss how losing another phone made his life more difficult. I could hear the person that lent him the phone asking him to hang up and give them their phone back. I told him that I would be at his motel room two days from our conversation at two o’clock and hung up.
That may seem harsh, but I didn’t create the problem and wasn’t able to drive 45 minutes each way until the day and time I told him. In addition to this, I had to get the food that he wanted. I had spent a lot of time with his counselors, Social Security and a bank to get his claim settled and become his representative payee. I have tried to explain how difficult and time consuming this was, and he told me how appreciative he was, but he still reacts like an impatient teenager that just happens to be 47 years old.
I drove to Cherry Hill to give him his food and we went to the Walmart that was near him to buy another phone and minutes for the phone. Without being preachy, but needing to make a point, I explained how this impacted both of us and how he needed to be more responsible with this phone, Now that his claim has been settled, I increased the amount of money that he gets weekly and set up my next visit. Less than a week later, and before the day and time scheduled, he begged me to meet him in Camden for his next doctor’s appointment and meet with his LPN / counselor.
It actually worked out well because Social Security started a re-review of his claim and they needed 12 pages of paperwork completed that also needed medical information. As I talked to him, I confirmed that he received his $600 stimulus payment in January and that he had spent it all. He had a lot of new clothes, but really couldn’t really explain how he spent all of the money. As we were leaving the office, he became very agitated and insisted that he didn’t have any money and was starving and had to get a prescription. This really concerned me because that was how he had acted when he was using drugs. I am not sure what to think and not sure what to do, but they do test him on a regular basis. This is not a short term process and is subject to change,
The Salem County Department of Health and Human Services and the Salem County Office on Aging and Disabilities is offering Legal Talks on Thursday, 1/28/21 from 1 – 3 pm by telephone or Zoom. The topic is “Tenant’s Rights During Covid” and is free for Salem County residents. Call 856 339 8622 for the required advanced registration and to receive the registration code.
For transportation to the next Scoot trip to Shop Rite call 856 339 8644
Stay connected: www,facebook.com/salemcounty.ooa and email@example.com
It is a new year and I want to get back to posting activities in Salem County, New Jersey. It has been so long ago that this was a normal part of so many Salem County residents. Anyway, it is time to get back to doing things. All the best to you in this new year:
I have been involved with individuals that have educational, emotional, vocational and mobility issues for the last 50 years. The one thing that has not changed in all of that time is that funding and services are always limited or not available. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was signed into law by President George H.W. Bush in 1990, but didn’t actually go into effect until early in 1992. From the beginning, there were provisions to ensure the rights of the disabled, but not necessarily the funding.
It is now 2021 and things really haven’t changed as far as the funding. Individuals have their rights recognized, but not the funding to enjoy those rights. My recent posts have focused on helping a homeless relative that has a number of documented disabilities and requests from my blog readers that are in desperate situations. They or a family member need wheel chairs to be mobile, but they can’t afford to have a wheel chair ramp installed because they do not have the necessary resources. They can’t easily get into or out of their homes because their homes aren’t accessible and they can’t use their bathrooms because they can’t get their wheel chair through the door. If they get help into the bathroom, they require assistance from someone strong enough and skilled enough to help them. Often, the resources for any of these barriers are not available.
With all of the discussions about how our country will proceed under a new administration, and the disagreements that our citizens have about priorities, policies and human rights, I am making a plea to have individuals support our differently able citizens. I hear people talk about the silent majority, but few people talking about the invisible minority that needs our collective assistance.
As I mentioned in a previous post, the important thing to keep in mind is that this is not an easy or a quick process a help a homeless person obtain financial benefits. Without a mailing address or a telephone, the homeless are not usually equipped to navigate this process or provide the timely responses to communications requesting updated information. In Aaron’s case, he had a social worker help him apply for benefits while he was in the hospital during November of 2017. As a result, he received $50.00 a month on a card that he could use to pay for expenses. It was supposed to be for incidental expenses because he was hospitalized. Three years later, I have found out that he was supposed to contact Social Security to let them know he was out of the hospital and this amount should have been increased to pay for increased housing, food and routine expenses.
During November of this year, I received a letter for him stating that his benefits were being stopped until they could obtain updated information about his status. It is now January 2021 and his small benefit has been stopped. There have been three telephone meetings with Social Security because the offices are closed to the public and his case is still not settled. The hardest part is to keep Aaron focused of controlling what he can control and remain as calm as he can. With all of the disappointments and bad decision making, keeping him calm and focused on what can be is a major task. The pandemic makes it even more difficult because everything is virtual and has an extended time frame.
He is in a program that is providing him with a motel room, medical and counseling services, but basic needs of food, clothing, laundry services and etc. are uncertain. In this case, he has family to help him. but it is not an easy process. He isn’t able to handle the process of communicating effectively with Social Security, and even though the agree that he needs a Representative Payee to help him handle his affairs and the money that he may eventually get, it is now more than a month since my application was submitted to become his Representative Payee. It has not been approved and I can’t officially act on his behalf and they can’t totally resolve the issues to settle his claim. I spent another three hours on the telephone yesterday to try and move this forward, but they have to approve my application. It is a good thing that I don’t give up easily and I don’t get angry and start yelling and screaming. To be continued.
I continue to receive comments from readers from around the United States that have contacted their local agencies and have been told that they are not currently able to fund requests to build wheelchair ramps. I have contacted the national Habitat for Humanity organization to see if they could provide some guidance or suggestions, but I have yet to get a response. Locally, in Salem County New Jersey, they have experienced times when their funds for the ramp program have been depleted.
My colleagues that needed ramps, or helped others get ramps, have told me that it is important that newly disabled patients need to identify the professionals working with them as soon as they enter rehabilitation or before they are released from a hospital or rehabilitation center. It is important to ask questions about how you will be able to access your apartment or house and your bathroom. Often there is a team of professionals working with the patient at the hospital and at the rehabilitation center and they create a plan to address the various needs and goals for each patient. It is very important to ask about your medical and rehabilitation plan and secure a commitment that access to your home and bathroom is included in these plans.
Do not assume that this will automatically happen. Advocate for your family member or yourself before the discharge takes place. Once you are discharged, the burden of solving these problems become a lot more difficult to solve. Money is always an issue, but even more so during a pandemic. It would be great to identify a funding source for building ramps and remodeling homes to make them accessible. If anyone has any ideas or specific sources of money, please contact me.
My nephew, who has been homeless for more than two years on the streets of Camden NJ, has often tried to be admitted to Cooper Hospital to receive care for a number of medical conditions and to try and get off of the streets when it is cold. As someone that also has a drug addiction, he also attempts to get drugs for pain during these attempts. As with my friend Ray’s suggestion to contact the social worker that is available in the hospital and nursing homes to locate someone to install a ramp, social workers also help patients with drug addictions locate programs to assist them with their issues.
During one of his extended stays in the hospital, services were provided to meet his various needs and he was also signed up for Supplemental Social Security benefits. As a current patient, he only qualified for $50.00 a month to cover incidental needs. When he was released, he continued to receive $50.00 a month. After more than two years at this modest level, he was readmitted to Cooper Hospital and was placed in a program to deal with his addiction and other medical conditions which also included temporary housing at a local motel, a phone with minutes and a case manager and team of professionals to work with him. During this time, one member of his team reviewed his status and contacted Social Security because he believed that he was receiving the wrong amount.
It was determined that he was actually entitled to significantly more than $50.00 a month and that he would benefit from having a representative payee to handle a retroactive payment that would be in the thousands of dollars. Aaron was already using my address in Monmouth County to forward his mail and I volunteered to be his representative payee. During this time I was also working with Aaron to complete the forms sent to me and forward them to the local Social Security office. Because the offices were not actually open, a telephone interview was scheduled. We held the meeting in his case manager’s office and soon realized that they were not going to just send him the money.
After almost an hour on the phone with the claim’s investigator, we were able to submit an application for me to be his representative payee, but we were not able to get his claim appeal settled. He was still listed as a patient in the hospital, his last actual address was his mother’s apartment in Gloucester county, his mail was forwarded to me in Monmouth county and they wanted a detailed explanation of all hospital admissions, discharges and the locations that he had lived in since the initial claim was submitted. We were able to schedule a phone interview in January to provide this information. As long as Aaron completes all of the requirements for his program, he will keep his current temporary housing at the motel and his team will continue to provide services including the possibility of an apartment.
The important thing to keep in mind is that this is not an easy or quick process and the homeless are not usually equipped to figure all this out. The hardest part is to keep Aaron focused of controlling what he can control and remain as calm as he can. With all of the disappointments and bad decision making, keeping him calm and focused on what can be is a major task. The pandemic makes it even more difficult because everything is virtual and has an extended time frame. To make matters even worse, they have stopped his $50.00 benefit until they can confirm all of the information that they are questioning. What can the homeless do when they don’t have the help and resources that they need to keep up with the required correspondence and basic needs of food, shelter and clothing?
My friend Ray has been in a wheel chair for thirty years so I asked him what is the best way to get a ramp for someone that has recently become disabled.
As I mentioned in a previous post, Habitat for Humanity in Salem County does a great job in providing ramps, but money to build the ramps is always an issue. As readers have contacted me from outside of Salem County, I have found that not every area is as fortunate as Salem County New Jersey. The readers that have contacted me are absolutely devastated that money is not available or they can’t navigate the local procedures. I asked Ray for his advice.
He has been involved with the ramp program in Salem County and thinks that it is a great program, but suggest that the individual or the family member in charge start with the social worker or nurse navigator at the rehabilitation center or hospital. They are working with a wide range of professionals and service providers. He also mention that there is often a team of professionals that work with each patient in long term care. Try this and get back to me with how this worked.
Recently, I have been receiving email responses from my blog and decided to post this one. Like the other emails that I have received, it is from a family that is in need of assistance and the agencies in their area are not able to assist in providing ramps to their homes and they detail the difficulties that this creates as they try to care for their loved ones. This email is from Florida and I am not familiar with services available in that state or maybe that county. I am posting this on Facebook because I have Facebook friends in Florida. Any thoughts on where this person should go for help in Florida? Her story is listed below:
I’ am not sure how to go about this, but I am writing in reference to my son’s father who was tragically injured in a motorcycle wreck that was not his fault. The person who hit him did a rolling stop and hit him head on in the lane he was riding his motorcycle. He was in ICU for almost 3 and a half months, his right leg was amputated all the way up to his hip, he had a crushed pelvic bone, an heart attack, brain bleed and several other injuries that include 7 broken vertebrae. He was sent to rehab from the hospital.
The man who hit him had minimum insurance and every lawyer has turned us down. I live in my parent’s house (who have passed away) and I can’t make the payments. We are losing this house through foreclosure. He is my ex husband and the best friend you could possibly find. He has a home which is on stilts and I’ve tried everything possible (go fund me page, elder options and state assistance) to have a ramp or chair lift put in before we go homeless due to another person’s driving neglect.. We are trying to get prosthetic care started, but without a ramp we can’t get stretcher transport to take us to doctor’s appointments. We are at a loss and I am literally begging to find help.
He hasn’t been in the shower in 8 months because we can’t get him into the bathroom. I’ve had nurses, therapists and case workers giving us phone numbers to call, but we are getting turned away or no one answers. I don’t know where to turn for help. This has impacted all of our lives, and if we get foreclosed on here, we will have no where to go because we have no way for him to get in his home. We had a life till this man rolled through a stop sign and took what little we had to survive. l don’t think we can get help because we are poor. No human should have to just lay in a bed and exist with no help.
I have had to quit my job to take care of Anthony who requires 24 hour care. Three months prior to accident, Anthony was able to buy his dream home which is on stilts and we can’t take him to his own house. I been trying to get help anywhere I can and I am writing to you as my last hope for resources to help him. It has made us so depressed and hope you can direct us some source of help. I’ am putting this out there in a very desperate cry for help I want to thank you for taking time to read this. We don’t look to get a free ride , we are just poor.